As I write this, we are 34,000 feet in the air over the Atlantic Ocean. My husband and I are on a rare flight without our children – packing only my carry-on, sipping wine, about to dig into a book that’s been on my bedside for months. Ah…bliss!
Next to me, however, is a brave mother flying solo with her two little ones: consoling her tearful, squirming toddler (riding as a lap child, no less!) and helping her frustrated older son figure out the entertainment system. She’s patient and loving, but as an outside observer, I can’t help but think it’s a lot of work to be her. She seems tired…and, by the way, we still have 6 hours left on this flight.
It is exactly this scenario that deters many families from traveling at all. It stops them dead in their tracks from visiting family, going to that beach resort or ski lodge, or taking their kids to experience the Grand Canyon or the Mediterranean. Why uproot your children and bother with getting them to the destination, not to mention changing routines and being out of your element. Are you crazy?
The answer is: Yes! BE CRAZY!
Venture out and be rewarded with memories and experiences with your children that will blow your mind, I promise! You’ll quickly forget the hassle of packing and planning…but you will never forget the moment your child heard a different language, made a friend from a different place, tasted real Italian food, or saw the bright lights of a new city. And you are planting a beautiful seed in them about their place in the broader world. And in our current environment, this has never been more important.
Travel also has the wonderful side effect of bringing your family together in a way that few other experiences can. Travel takes you out of your rhythm and forces you to take a break from work and the daily routine.
Based on the 2017 report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average American works 8 hours per day at work and another 3 hours at home. That means that for many of us, we have a couple of hours in the evenings to quickly check in with our partners and kids – along with the hurricane called dinner, bath, homework, and bedtime.
And our families feel the lack of connection. Travel helps us put down those cell phones for a while so that we can reconnect and just be with our kids. Believe me, you’ll learn something you didn’t expect from your child when you just push pause on your adult life.
When your family travels, you are dependent on each other – from figuring out directions, to picking a place to dine, to calculating the currency exchange rate. Your children will revel in the opportunity to take the lead and, on occasion, see their parents a little out of their element. It’s humility, empowerment, learning, loving, and fun all rolled into one. What could be better?
But let’s be practical here – it’s not all puppies and lollipops.
What are the hurdles that stand in our way and which of these are myths and which can be surmounted? Let’s break it down:
Concern: Isn’t it ridiculously expensive to travel with kids?
Assessment: You can travel affordably by planning ahead, having flexibility, and getting creative.
If you are able, spending a little extra makes the vacation feels luxurious, relaxing, and easy. However, that’s not the rule and shouldn’t stop you from traveling. The experts at VacationKids estimate that family travel costs ~5-10% of your annual income [1]. Similarly, American Express estimated in 2014 that a family of four spends roughly $4,500 [2] on vacations. While this figure may seem high, there are plenty of ways to bring costs down.
While this may sound obvious, choose destinations that are less expensive – especially when you consider the value of the dollar vs. local currency (which can be a total buzz kill). Also, while far-flung destinations may seem fun, remember that often the further you go, the higher the costs…and if you cross multiple time zones, the lower the bang for your buck.
Consider the national parks and natural wonders of the US and abroad. In the US, Bryce Canyon, Zion National Park, Niagara Falls, the Grand Canyon and others will leave an impression on your little ones, inspire you and won’t cost a fortune. There are some fun historical centers like The Oregon Trail Interpretive Center in Baker City, Oregon, or California’s Highway 49 in the gold rush country.
Internationally, Montenegro and Croatia are incredible destinations with deep history and opportunities for outdoor adventure. Thailand is a feast for the eyes and the soul – and some of the less visited islands offer an affordable wonderland. With a little digging, the opportunities are endless.
I have a ton of other ideas on how to bring the costs down in my “Keeping Travel Affordable” post. (click here).
Concern: Isn’t the hassle and stress of traveling with kids overwhelming?
Assessment: Planning strategically and remaining flexible take much of the pain away.
The stress of travel is tied with cost as the main reason why we don’t travel with our kids. It was so easy when we were solo…no checked bags (and no carseats!), using the quick lines at security, reading by the pool with a glass of wine. But travel with kiddos needs not be stressful if we plan ahead and use the available resources.
- Plan your travel strategically. Choose travel times that mesh with your children’s nap or rest schedule patterns. I personally avoid red-eyes given the impact on the child and the exhausted parent (although international, cross-time zones is a different story). Depending on your child’s naptimes, schedule flights in the mid-morning, as the afternoons are generally challenging for most children anyway. Also, consider the duration of your trip and the distance you go. All day travel can be taxing for the best of us – and more so for your little ones. Plus, if you’re crossing multiple time zones, know that adjusting your children’s sleep patterns will take time.
- Consider all legs of your trip. We are quick to book flights and hotels. However, be sure to pre-book your transfers to and from the airport. Arrange your main activities ahead of time so you have a few scaffolds for your trip. Often overlooked, save a day for re-entry upon your return. Come home on a Saturday or Sunday morning to give you time to settle back into your routine, unpack, etc. Nothing’s worse then going to work or school exhausted from your vacation.
Pack right and pack early. Personally, this is the part I like the least. But leaving your packing to the last minute is a common mistake that adds unnecessary stress. Create a packing list ahead of time ro avoid bringing items that you just don’t need. Also, baby and child equipment rental is available all over the world, with many vendors offering a full complement of sleeping, feeding, toys, and safety gear.- Ask for help. One of my favorite finds are the VIP airport services, such as Airport Assistance Worldwide. These professionals will meet you curbside, handle your luggage, escort you through expedited security, and fetch whatever you need while you relax in the private airline lounges. Bliss! and well worth the small fee they charge. When you arrive at your hotel, lean on the concierge to help you plan meals, find specialty stores/pharmacies, book entertainment, and schedule laundry services.
- Bring your best self. I can’t say enough about getting a good night’s sleep ahead of time, eating well-rounded meals during travel (avoid going overboard with local delights) and keeping your mind flexible and calm. Meditation, self-care, and rest are your best friends.
Concern: What if our work and life schedules are too hectic for a lengthy vacation?
Assessment: Often, a few days is all you need
I get it: as a former strategy consultant, I had visions of long, extravagant vacations, but shorter trips were more often the norm. Fear not. Smaller vacations provide many of the benefits of longer ones. Researchers in Finland found that while the ideal vacation length is eight days, shorter (4-5 days) trips produce measurable improvements to health and wellbeing [3]. Take advantage of national or school holidays and long weekends – tack on a day before or after, and Voila! You have a perfectly suitable 4 or 5 day get-a-way.
That said, here are a few hints for how to make the most of your time:
- Plan less stuff. Try planning fewer activities and have unstructured time with your kiddos. Often we have in mind these wonderful excursions or tours and quickly find that we end up exhausted and the kids, overwhelmed. My rule of thumb is no more than one (or two, depending on your children’s ages) main activity per day. And definitely leave time for a lazy morning routine and plenty of chill time during the day.
- Stay in one place. While you may be tempted to squish multiple destinations into a trip, don’t do it. Unless you plan on spending at least 8-10 days on vacation, multiple destinations just mean more packing/unpacking and wasted time. Not to mention, you rarely get to experience a place when you are there for fewer than 3 days.
- Extend the trip, without traveling. Research shows that the anticipation of an event can lift happiness as much (if not more) as actually taking the trip. Include the whole family in the planning part – where to go, what to do, where to stay, where to eat. Kids love to see how their plans unfold.
And why stop there? Turn your photos and memories into a book to relive the trip for months to come. Sound hard? It’s not, if you use services like Twigtale.com. Twigtale.com has pre-written books for travel, and for iPhone users an app that prompts you for photos and memories as you go. When you get home, you just tweak the final product and you’re all done.
For other ideas, check out this article on FastCompany that has great tips for getting the most out of your trip (article here).
Concern: We’re just not sure where to go with young kids
Assessment: There is no shortage of great destinations for young families.
For families with babies and toddlers, easier outdoor destinations like beaches and mountain areas offer many organic opportunities (sand castles and snow angels, anyone?). Most beaches and mountain resorts have year-round activities. In fact, choosing an off-season mountain vacation during the summer months can get you a great deal on the hotel and a much smaller crowd.
Obviously, you can’t go wrong visiting a major metropolis, as they are packed with children’s zoos, museums, and events. Places like New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, San Francisco have more than enough to keep the littlest travelers occupied. One of my favorites is the Bay Area Discovery Museum, which sits in the shadow of the beautiful Golden Gate Bridge and adjacent to the Cavallo Point Lodge.
If your kids are early school-age, national parks and historical landmarks are teeming with hiking and sight-seeing galore. Places with shorter (1-2 mile) day hikes are discovery labs for young children. Pack disposable cameras for them to capture what they see – they’ll likely show you something you missed.
Often historical sites, like Mount Vernon or Plymouth Plantation have special exhibits and activities for kids. These excursions also provide good conversation starters about history and some of the trickier, complex issues with which humans have wrestled over time.
You don’t have to restrict yourself to all-inclusive family resorts and theme parks – although these do cater services and activities to kids, which makes it easier for parents (if you can manage the crowds and chaos). Most hotels and resorts have amenities for young kids and are often in central locations for kids’ activities or open spaces to roam.
Concern: Will our kids get anything out of it?
Assessment: You’d be surprised how much they get out of it!
This was one of the main concerns we had with a recent trip to Washington DC with our 4- and 8-year old. Would we go to the expense and challenge of getting there, and they not care notice or care? We were blown away at how well they embraced a new location and the small things they noticed. My older son spent our walk back from the US Capitol reading the Constitution…yes, the whole thing…amendments and all! Our younger guy enjoyed meeting our Congressman and climbing on the lions outside of the Capital Grille. Both of them loved the cherry blossoms and a random burger joint in Dupont Circle. And now, they both want to move there. Go figure.
As babies and toddlers, kids may not adopt a love for an international culture or appreciate the view of the Grand Canyon. But what they do take away is the uninterrupted time with mom or dad. The bonds built during your trip will last. My older son still remembers our trip to Denver when he was three, because he loved eating donuts with us and seeing all the people dressed in Broncos gear while we chilled in the lobby of our hotel.
Once you surmount the hurdles (which are often more perceived than real) the big beautiful world awaits. You will see gorgeous sites but more importantly, you will stop and really SEE your kids and partner. You’ll hear your baby’s newest words (perhaps in a foreign language!), watch your toddler try a new food, see you preschooler’s colorful drawing of nature, discover your 2nd grader’s wiggly tooth, hear about your 11-year old’s crush in his class, and pull your teen away from that smart phone long enough to get to know the young woman that she is becoming.
And that’s just Day 1…
Travel well!
-Hanna
P.S. If you have any tips or tricks to share with the community, please leave them below in the comments!
[1] Black, Sally, “How Much Does a Family Vacation Cost?”, VacationKids.com, July 2013
[2] Phillips, Kelly Erb, “The Real Cost Of Summer Vacation: Don’t Get Buried In Taxes”, Forbes, July 2014
[3] de Bloom J, Geurts SA, Kompier MA, “Effects of Short Vacations, Vacation Activities and Experiences on Employee Health and Well-being”, Stress Health, October 2012