We started traveling with our older son when he was 7 weeks old.  We went boldly into the flight, and our little guy did a fabulous job.  He slept all the way on our 5+ hour flight, except to eat.  And he was the perfect travel companion through his toddler stage and early school years.

I thought I was a pro:  Step back!  I have this handled!

And then we traveled with our younger son at 18 months…the universe seems to know exactly when you need a dose of humility!

I’ve never felt more incompetent.  It was that train wreck that all parents fear:  crying/screaming, can’t sit still, literally rolling over and over in our arms like a crocodile killing its prey.  He was kicking the back of the seat in front of us, hitting his brother…he wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t sleep.  I wanted to open the over-wing exit and jump out.  How could I be so poorly prepared?

But that’s the way it goes, some kiddos are easy travelers while some can’t get used to being cooped up.  And, truthfully, the toddler years are the hardest time to travel.  However, it is worthwhile when you get where you’re going because toddlers are also incredibly curious and fun.  Here are my suggestions for surviving this journey:

A TON of the battle is waged well before you even head to the airport.  Talk to your child in advance and let them know what to expect.  There is a fun picture book on travel for little ones by Patricia Hubble called, My First Airplane Ride.  This can be a great way to introduce the idea of flying to a little one.

When booking your travel, choose your flights strategically.  I avoid connections and layovers unless we are flying internationally or the flight times are more than 5 hours.  It’s true that letting the kids out to run around is a good idea.  But honestly once you’re in it deep, the last thing you want to do is surface and then do it all again for a second leg.

Similarly (and I know that people have different opinions of this), I never do a red-eye unless we are flying internationally.  Even the most reliable sleeper at home turns into a cranky screaming nightmare on a dark, unfamiliar, noisy flight – and now you’ve earned the ire of every other passenger who is trying to sleep.  That said, I do advocate for flying during naptime – as oddly, kids seem to have an easier time nodding off for a nap on the plane during the daytime.

Choosing your seat is important.  In contrast to when you are traveling with an infant, you want to have your seat on the aisle when traveling with a toddler.  If you are traveling alone with your child, book the aisle and middle seas (although as a personal confession, I sometimes only book the aisle and window, hoping that no one will book the middle…works about a third of the time, and the other times, the person in the middle seat is only too happy to switch for the window). If you have a second adult or child, then book the full row and put the toddler in the window (great stuff to see unless you’re crossing an ocean!).  While you don’t want to put your child in the aisle seat until they are older, you want an escape hatch to go for walks down the aisle, use the bathroom, etc.  Also, avoid bulkhead seats (the seats right behind first class) as you will want the storage space under the seat in front of you.  I suggest springing for the premium economy seats if you can because the extra leg room will come in handy for a toddler.

Security at the airport is another experience that you can prepare for.  First and foremost, I highly recommend that you register for TSA Precheck if you can.  It typically takes a while to process your application (~1-2 months), but if you even think you will travel with your child one day, do it.  Only the adults and children 13 and older need to register – kids 12 and under can go through with a parent who has Precheck.  It cuts down on the lines, and you don’t have to unload your liquids and digital devices.  Best $85 you’ll ever spend! (https://www.tsa.gov/precheck).

If you go through regular security, know that currently children 12 and younger have modified screening procedures.  You can travel with formula, breastmilk and juices in excess of 3ml, but you’ll need to tell the screeners in advance and set them aside.  Your child can leave his or her shoes, headwear, and jackets on.  And they should never be separated from you – you can walk or carry them through the detector.  I recommend having them use the walk-through metal detector as the big cylindrical imagers can be really scary for some kids.  Most TSA people work with you and you should feel free to advocate for your child if they say he or she needs a pat down (extremely rare).  Check the TSA website for up-to-date screening procedures (https://www.tsa.gov/travel/special-procedures/traveling-children).  They have a super cute Children’s Security Video to show your child before you fly so they will understand what to expect at security.

Carseats:  to bring or not to bring?  I have been asked often about bringing a carseat on the plane.  This is technically the safest way to fly with your child – and if you have a child who still naps in her carseat, it is very helpful.  I admit that dealing with a heavy, bulky carseat is a drag.  But we lugged ours on from when our boys were about 18 months until they were 3 years old, when we switched to the CARES harness.  Just run the airplane lap belt through the lock system in the carseat and you are good to go.  I love using the Go Go Babyz wheelie attachment with the car seats because then you have a way to transport the carseat and you have a stroller (A two-fer!).  If your child hates the carseat, then technically you can use he CARES harness for kids older than a year who weight over 22 pounds (check their website for specifics).  I still recommend checking your carseat through if you will have any meaningful car travel at your destination.  See my post on carseats for more info (add hotlink).

Should you take advantage of pre-boarding?  At the airport, avoid pre-boarding unless you need to store extra luggage and or are traveling without another adult.  Traveling on airlines like Southwest where you don’t have an assigned seat is another instance where you want to get on sooner rather than later.  When my husband is with me, he pre-boards to set things up and I stay behind and encourage the kids to cruise around the boarding area until all rows are called.  Better to get their wiggles out in a big space first!

Get a lot of sleep the night before and get to the airport early to avoid stress.  I am a firm believer in the fact that your child’s disposition will exactly match your underlying energy.  If you are tired or irritable…if you’ve just had a heated exchange with your partner because he/she forgot the pacifier…if you can’t believe the length of the line you’re standing in, watch out.  That’s the exact time your angel will lose his marbles.  And travel with toddlers is a full-contact sport.  So, pack in advance, go to bed early, leave an inordinately long time to get to the airport, and do your best to muster your wits and humor.

Also, arriving at the airport early allows your child to wander around and explore the airport, you can get a coffee, and you have time for those last-minute potty breaks diaper changes, etc.  If there’s a gate change, if you forget something, you have time to rectify it.

VIP Airport Services rock the party, if you can afford it.  We’ve used services like Airport Assistance Worldwide and it can make a big difference, especially if you are traveling alone or internationally.  I first used them when I traveled to Hawaii with an infant and preschooler by myself.  The man met me curbside, had my tickets, dealt with my luggage, moved us to the front of security, held the baby as we went through security, fetched water and snacks while I hung at the private lounge (to which they had special access), and helped get me boarded.  It was magic.

When you get to your seat, disinfect and get organized.  My toddlers liked to lick practically everything and if they weren’t licking it, they were touching it and then sucking on their fingers.  Gorgeous.  So, wipe it down in advance.

I also highly recommend having a seat-back caddy of some kind to organize all the things you’ll need.  Check out the TravelCaddy, which I developed when my little guy was an infant and I was tired of picking stuff up off the ground.

The TravelCaddy allows you to load books, toys, a bottle or water bottle, crayons, activities, and store your little one’s loveys and binkys.  You’ll want all of this on hand because toddler go through activities very quickly.  You don’t want to be constantly reaching in your bag…and god-forbid storing that needed lovey in the overhead compartment during take-off (done that…not good!).

 

A few notes on entertaining a toddler on the flight:

• Pack a lot of small, portable toys, books, and activities. You’ll want a few favorite things as well as some things that they haven’t seen in a while.  I made a page with a few activity suggestions by age group (Entertainment Options by Age).  Here are a few general ideas:
  • Books – especially ones with flaps or things they can do. Here’s a fun one that our kids like (Airplane Flight! Lift-the-flap book)
  • Painters tape – they have great colors and it’s fun to stick (and easy to get it off) these around the seats (Alex Tape All Day)
  • Pipe cleaners – really fun to make shapes and animals (Caydo Pipe Clearners)
  • Magnetic blocks – these are great b/c they are fun and they don’t get lost as easily. We like the Tegu wooden magnet blocks Travel Tote (Tegu Travel Tote)
  • Modeling clay – Crayola has a few sets of easy Model Magic (just don’t let them eat it!) that don’t make a huge mess (Crayola Model Magic)
  • Building sets – Mega Bloks makes Thomas & Friends characters in 4-5 pieces that toddlers can build easily and play with (Mega Blocks Thomas the Train and  Mega Blocks Charlie)
  • Coloring – I would just get the triangular “no-roll” crayons so they don’t get lost (Crayola Triangular Crayons)
• If you get some new toys (or ones that haven’t seen in a while) wrap them in some fun colorful paper and pull out a “present” periodically to surprise them. I plan on one “gift” per hour for toddlers.  They feel like it’s their birthday – which usually helps!
• But a blanket on the floor and let them move around on the floor and in their seat. It makes a little play space and they can drop toys down there without them getting nasty.
• For a very active child, plan on walking the aisles periodically whenever it is safe to do so.  Even if your child seems only mildly restless at the time, I find it is better to walk up and down the aisles a couple of times to get the wiggles out.  If you help your child move before full restlessness sets in, these walks are generally fun and people will engage with your child playfully as you go.  If you wait, toddlers often then resist walking (in favor of wailing or running or tantruming) and people are less friendly as you wander at those times.

Full disclosure, we have been a limited screen-time family and didn’t use iPads or phones until the kids were much older.  BUT, we did cave at certain points on flights.  So, don’t be too rigid.  Sometimes having a back-up iPad or laptop movie or game is straight-up called for, no matter how hard you try.  Don’t judge yourself, just go for it.

Get your snack on!  One thing I learned early on is that you don’t want a toddler who is too full nor hungry.  If you will be traveling over mealtime, pack a hearty snack/meal for your toddler.  Chances are they won’t like what’s being served or they will run out of the one you want.  I pack protein rich foods and avoid carb or sugar-heavy snacks, for obvious reasons.  If your child still enjoys the food packets, you can bring those along – there is a chance that TSA might hassle you, but I’ve been able to explain and TSA usually lets it pass.  Finger foods of a few different varieties are also good for toddlers, but be sure to use No-spill Snack Containers.  Generally, I pack one snack per hour of flight to hold their interest.

Use food to help toddlers normalize cabin pressure.  As with infants, allowing them to suck on something during assent and descent tends to help with their ears.  If your child still uses a bottle or nurses, it is helpful to strategically stage feeding times for these periods.  If your child doesn’t take a bottle or nurse, offer a healthy lollipop which can accomplish the same thing.

A quick note on potty-training:  Starting potty training is common for families with toddlers.  My advice is not to regress during your travel.  You’ll need to plan ahead, perhaps use your pull-up diapers a bit more liberally, and be prepared for accidents.  However, if you are proactive with potty breaks before, during, and after your flight you’ll be fine.  Here are a few products that I recommend for flying during potty training time.

• Foldable potty seat – the toilets on airplanes and at airports are generally too big for toddlers to sit comfortably. I’ve tried a few of the other folding seats, but this one is super comfortable for little ones and folds down small into its own case
• Oversized toilet seat covers – finding a clean bathroom when traveling is not easy. These oversized covers go over the seat and surrounding areas so that little bottoms are touching filthy surfaces.  They are disposable in the trash can (don’t flush).
• If you also anticipate long car rides at your destination, I recommend renting (not packing given the size) a portable potty like the one from Baby Bjorn. I’ve tried a few of the collapsible seats that you can take with you like this one by Cool Gear but have found some of them to be unstable and little ones sometimes don’t want to sit on them.

Especially when traveling with toddlers, pack your patience and a bit of humor.  I know that I will spend time profusely apologizing to my seatmates – and when things get really bad, I have offered to buy people a drink when that drink cart comes by.  They usually don’t take me up on it, but it’s my $5 insurance policy.  My friend used to routinely hand out earplugs to people around her on the plane – most people laughed, but some people took them!

You will also likely encounter a few tough customers (or flight attendants) too – with dirty looks and lots of advice to share.  Engaging these well-meaning advice dispensaries never works – so, I just smile and move on…what else can you do?  Just know that eventually the flight will land and you soon be free again!

Travel well!

-Hanna

P.S. If you have any tips or tricks to share with the community, please leave them below in the comments!